We closed out summer this past weekend at my favorite place on earth. Since I was a baby we've been going to Dauphin Island so it's like a second home. We've had birthday celebrations, wedding celebrations, 4th of July celebrations, Thanksgiving holidays, and more on that little slab of paradise.
This year was different.
It almost had kind of a new year's resolution vibe to it. I found myself wanting to usher in September and the fall season with an intentional perspective of my time. To purposefully push away the desire for over-activity. As I get ready to usher in a new season I don't want to miss Him in every moment. His character is woven into every story, His presence in every moment, and His wisdom in every line of the text. All we have to do is look.
But what if I'm too busy to notice? What if I'm so caught up in the busy-ness of trying to please others that I miss it?
With my uncle and granddaddy now gone, and so much of our family shifting/changing, I found myself pausing a little longer to take in certain moments and being more intentional to have the same conversations with my children that my family has had with me. Some families gather for the sake of gathering. There's really no intentional investment in their time together- no marks on eternity- but rather just a physical presence of being, because that is what's expected.
I realized this weekend that life doesn't afford that. Time does not allow for surface-level chats and fellowship without meaning. Relationships without meaning. We honor Him with the way we spend our time. How you spend your life is how you spend your soul.
In planning for the fall and sitting down last night with my planner and sharpee, that truth hit home. It is easy to become overwhelmed with responsibilities that lie ahead and think "how am I going to give my children the best of me when there's X, Y, and Z...?" But, then the Spirit recalled Psalm 37:5. He will redeem my time. If I commit all my ways to Him and lean into Him every day, He will do it. By His strength everything will get accomplished for His glory and my husband, my babies, my family and friends will have what they need.
Recently I read an interview by Meryl Streep that I loved. I don't know where she stands spiritually, but I couldn't hep but agree wholeheartedly with her words from the standpoint of wanting to give Him my time and the best of my life.
I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I have become arrogant, but simple because I have reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time.
I would concur. So, when you make your fall plans and preparations and feel overwhelmed, stop and ask God how He wants you to invest your time.
When you say yes to something there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less. - Louie Giglio
Those were my initial thoughts when I checked my daughter's temperature for the 100th time last Thursday night. My mind was listening to my heart say "trust Him, Maegan... she is going to be fine." But as I watched the thermometer creep up to 104 degrees my soul started ignoring.
In distress mode, I weighed the worst possibilities against who I know my God proves to be and still... distress.
It wasn't until I picked up the phone to call my Mom and listened to myself speak all of my fears aloud that I realized this distress was revealing my displaced devotion. As she spoke, "Okay, stop letting your mind travel to all the worst places and let's pray" I wondered, do you not know by now that He controls the chaos? I do know this. But sometimes I don't apply it when the chaos comes.
Can you relate?
We trust and hear His still, yet mighty voice amdist the things we cannot handle alone.
It may seem minor now, but at the time, my world was rocking and He reminded me once more, that unless I throw my whole self into Him... I'm out of place. I cannot handle any situation without Him.
He put a hyperventilating, frantic fed mama in her place that day. When Emmalyn's orthopedic doctor declared her free of infection after bone scans and x-ray's he also confirmed her break was healing nicely and she could say goodbye to the hard cast and heal in her sling.
In my place.
Which is at His feet. Believing He is with me in the chaos. Handling. Working.
Sometimes our role as a wife, mom, an organizer of all things important - heck, just as a woman - can feel pretty thankless.
We speak words all day long. We train. We pour. We plan. We invest.
But in the midst, we starve ourselves. Of gratitude, appreciation, and affirmation that's needed along the way. The behind the scenes work wasn't meant to feel lonely. He whispers to us all the while.
I can manage a whole day without allowing God to speak to my heart about how He sees me. How He views every detail of my day as important and utterly valuable to the Kimgdom.
Somehow I think that lofty recognition is better than knowing my God loves the service no one sees.
The behind the scenes moments when mama is on her knees pleading with God for her family while the rest of the house sleeps soundly.
Or the moment of complete exhaustion that just "might" allow for a 10 minute power nap, until a beautiful voice from another room pleads, "Mommy, will you play with me?"
Thankless? Tired? Broken? He sees.
We make a standard for ourselves out of the outward - that which can be applauded in public or posted on social media. But behind the scenes moments- when you are doing the thing day in and day out simply out of your love for Him...
I've been married for 8 years to my prince of a man, Jeremy. I love Jesus, I like to laugh, I'm a bit clumsy, & I enjoy meeting new people. I'm a freelance writer, marketer, and publicist within the Christian publishing industry. God has blessed us with 3 children: Our first child, Emmalyn Brooke, who is now 4 & brings so much joy to us! Our second child, Ellanie Beth, was born & entered into God's kingdom on December 4, 2011. She has changed our life and we are eternally thankful for the profound impact she's had on us and many others. Our third child, Harrison Philip is now 17 months old & we are loving the adventurous world of "boy!" We're figuring out life together, loving, serving, & enjoying Christ all the while.