It was early. I had just dropped my children off at preschool and was heading to the office to celebrate several colleagues' birthdays in the midst of a busy day.
Dang it. I forgot the cupcakes.
While my full intention was healthy, sugar-free baked from scratch for the Gluten-free on my team, Publix deli was just going to have to do. It hadn't been a smooth morning thus far and I was determined to refocus on the way to work.
I was trying to maneuver around her massive stroller and Michael Kors diaper bag. I can empathize with over-sized baby gear as much as the next mama, but she seemed completely oblivious that I needed to be where she was standing.
And how can you be aware when you're on your cell phone?! Obviously a deep conversation that occupied her full attention and blinded her peripheral vision.
Really?! I mean, not all moms have time to grocery shop in our stilettos! Who shops at Publix at 9am anyway? This is my thought process...
Completely over it all, I headed in a different direction to search for an alternative. Donuts. Girl on a mission.
But because the Lord has a brilliant sense of humor I landed behind stiletto girl in the check out line. Ahhh...
Because she was still on her cell phone and my position had made sure I was standing still, I could hear her conversation.
"I just needed to get out and do something normal, you know? I even made a to-do list last night just to have something to look forward to today. It's the first time I've worn make up and real clothes in 3 weeks. How sad is that? Grocery shopping is something I always dreaded and he was so good at it. I guess I just wanted to see if I could do something normal without thinking of him."
From what I was allowed to hear, I assumed she had just lost someone near and dear to her. Could it be her husband or this sound sleeping child's daddy?
Suddenly, I felt sick to my stomach and at my ability to so quicky let the disruption of my agenda affect my mind to make assumptions based on what I didn't know.
In our daily efforts to cultivate joy, peace and to emulate christ, we must be serious about loving God with our mind and our thoughts. We've got to be mentally tough to cut through layers of surface level judgements and understand what we do not know.
He requires us to express our love for Him by looking deep into our minds to consider our thoughts before we let them shape our attitude and response to the hurting.
Psalm 64:6 says, "Both the inward thought and the heart of man are deep." What happens in the secret place of the mind matters. I want to be the kind of woman that shows the people God places around me the love of Jesus. But the fact is I can lose sight of how to exemplify the kind of patient understanding Christ gives to me when I'm overwhelmed or too focused on my agenda to try to look past what I don't know.
This little personal lesson was timely for me as we're approaching the busiest time of the year. Don't allow the overwhelm-ness of life to blind your understanding of what you don't know. Look at everything around you with the eyes of Christ and dig deep into your mind to consider how you can love Him well with your thoughts!